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I experienced something today that opened my eyes.
I auditioned for a "show" (documentry) a couple days ago.
And some questions your probably asking i will answer right now...
No i didn't make it onto the show.
Yeah I cried (obviously) to myself.
Reason being i had a feeling my parents would be dissapointed expecially seeing how the whole auditioning experiencing was kinda... "dodgy".
knowing that i proved a couple of people's points.
Realizing that i have failed.
knowing that i made my parents them come out of their way in order for me to have an opportunity.
a chance to actually gain some experience.
Experience that i just won't have the chance to experience.
and i was crying to myself blaming me for be such a failure i began to think
Enjough of that.
Crying won't get me any where.
It made me realize,
All i could do is get up dust my self off and gain courage and confidence in order to go threw with that experience some other time.
And focus on being happy for the people that made it. ( NOT that i was jealous in the first place, because envy is the first step to disaster)
It made me realize that i probably need to work harder in order to get what i want.
It made me realize that it is okay to make mistakes.
i don't know i don't think i could change it because CONFESION: I don't like living in reality. i enjoy dreaming about alot of things that make me feel light instead of heavy and stuck.
It doesn't matter.
The point is i didn't make it
I have to live with it and move on.
I guess...
Steph.